Market Drayton 20 Spartans Stags 21

It was a day of fake boobs and fishnets, prostitutes and pimps ………….. all to celebrate Ally Eyre’s Stag Do. Spencer Kyte struck a blow for the “strutters” with a cameo role at breakfast – and there was not a “builder” in site! The Stag resplendent in his nurses outfit ……………….. oh what a lucky lady you are Mrs-Eyre-to-be.

Dr Bob …………….. legend ………… “I only ate one pie all day” ………… paid his match fees, despite not getting any game time ………….. “to be honest Gooders, it looked a little brutal out there!”.

And to the game ……………. it was a good old ding-dong of a match - the Stags were loaded with borrowed talent for the day - but came up against a very good Shropshire league outfit. Early efforts by the visitors were assisted by the referee sending 3 Drayton players to the “bin” in the first half, but then allowing Remy to rest for 10 minutes either side of half time.

Despite the regular flow of “cards”, the game was not dirty ………… just hard fought and competitive ………… oh except for “that incident”! Spartans down to 14 players with 30 minutes still to play.

Market Drayton took a hold of the game, and 2 quick tries gave them a 6 point lead …………. as the clock counted down. The travelling support shivered as the temperature gradually dropped ………….. and winced as the determined defensive efforts kept the home side at bay.

………….. but wait, the Spartans warriors rallied for one last effort ……….. and with a final press up the hill propelled Andrew ……………. by far the most talented Bennett at the club ……….. over the line for a try in the corner!

With the Stags one point adrift …………… the referee confirmed that the conversion from the touchline was to be the final play of the match. Step forward Joe Westwood ……………. no pressure ………… final kick of the match ……………. from the touchline, in to the wind.

Three times the referee sent the Drayton defenders back for starting their run too early in trying to charge down the kick.

No pressure then Joe ………….. and a helpful word of encouragement from the referee to the Spartans’ 10 ……………… “you are going to have to hurry it up”!

“Bang” …………….. with an easy swing of his right boot, Joe Wes sent the ball sailing through the uprights.

………………. pause, delayed reaction …………….. “boom”! The Spartans supporters dispersed across the pitch like a spilled tumbler of water ……………………. a magnificent flow of Coppice Lane’s finest phoney pimps and cross dressers!!

Market Drayton 20, Stags 21. Beautiful! Time for a beer …………………………..”